I was sent this from a young bisexual guy in Galway. It describes his coming to terms with his sexuality and his 'coming out' story. Hope you enjoy :)
I was raised in a middle class family and I had to find many things out on my own. My parents never gave me 'the talk' so I never knew what sex and all that stuff was until the normal 6th class lessons on it. So like most things, I had to figure out about sexual orientation myself.
Growing up in an all boys secondary school in Galway, the term 'gay' was often used as another word for 'stupid' or 'weird'. It was used way out of context. I never really knew what the word meant. I knew it had to do something with liking boys but I never really grasped the culture and I had never really met a gay or bisexual person before so I had never really experienced the presence of a homosexual but I was always an open minded child so I ignored how bad people made it out to be and I decided that when the day came, I would make my judgement.
I was occasionally called a girl and gay while growing up just because I was honest to myself and I stuck with my female friends whom I had more in common with instead of kidding myself and pretending I was a 'jock' or whatever they called themselves. I always took it to heart whenever people said stuff like that. I grew up a sensitive child who always felt like they were second best because of sibling rivalry with my brother for my parent's attention. I grew to hate my parents and my whole life for that matter. I don't know how many nights I stayed up in my room just crying and wishing I could just run away and find people who would understand me for I was only beginning to understand myself.
I never even suspected I was anything but straight until I came upon forums like BeLonGTo on the net. I didn't set out to search the Internet for a LGBT forum or support group. I just came upon it and it intrigued me. This was my chance to meet new people and get to the bottom of what being gay is! However, I knew something wasn't so heterosexual about me when I was getting aroused over the male body. I still denied that anything was up but deep down I knew. I tried to blame it on just being a phase but after months of it not going away, I knew that these were my true feelings.
In a matter of months, I worked myself from straight to bicurious and then to bisexual. And I knew that I had to just be true to myself and live my life and not one in which I pretended to be something I wasn't. Even if people wouldn't necessarily favor my sexual preference if they ever came to find out, I would still be true to myself and when figuring out your identity, that is one of the most important things to keep in mind.
The first person I came out to was somebody I had met on the LGBT forums that I had since been posting on for almost a year off and on(I know, but I live on the net :P). He was alright with it but why wouldn't he be if he was bisexual as well? Since then I have come out to almost all of my online friends as well as a few friends in real life. For some reason I feel better telling people who are not my best friends because I guess there is not that possibility for a wrecked friendship because they could possibly be disappointed in me. Believe it or not, I would rather have some 'rumor' reach their ears about my sexuality rather than me have to tell them myself.
Since admitting my sexuality to myself, I have felt more free and for once in my live I am happy. You have to take life as it comes at you and remain true to yourself. Don't be afraid to go against tradition if it is what you truly feel inside.
Luke, 20, Galway
0 comments:
Post a Comment